apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
