i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
