Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
