so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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