Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
