You kept calling me your small dog last night.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
