i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
