I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
