I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
