An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
This house was built for laser tag.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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