Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
