It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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