I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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