We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
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once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
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Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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