let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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