That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
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drunk tastebuds have low standards.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
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Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here