Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i was born a porn star she said
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?