how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
