I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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