ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
