after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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