Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
