what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
