i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
These tits shall not be calmed
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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