saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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