My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
