so that wasnt chicken after all
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
