if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
