I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
