I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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