id be glad to
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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