3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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