Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
