he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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