so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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