she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
