they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
