Already got asked if we're dating
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
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They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
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I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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