i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
