Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
