Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
