He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
