Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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