I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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