I've blown a few things in my day
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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