I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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