super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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