I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing