two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
