Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I AM VODKA MAN
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
