butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
