Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
