trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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