the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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