Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize