maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
vagina is talking i cant
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
