I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
