The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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