ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
