I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
