I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
