were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
