I hope mine doesn't look like that
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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