He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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