the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
