We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dignity is for republicans.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
