kristin has been a bad kristin
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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